If they know all the words to Fraggle Rock. If they don’t nag you. If they have exceptional taste in music. If the way they fuck informs your every waking motive. If they don’t have abhorrent political world views that they’ve directly claimed from their hideous parents. If they’re the first thing you think about when you wake up. If they get why hardcore porn is less offensive than FHM. If you’re across the room and know what they’re thinking. If they can dance. If their talent overwhelms you. If you could stay up all night talking shite and be entertained. If you don’t have to switch off certain aspects of their character in order to make them better. If they’re creative. If they have wicked trainers. If you wanna fuck them when you’re ill. Or they’re ill. If they dont yak on and on and on about where this is going. If they are so intellectually stimulating they can change your position on something you were rigid about. If they’re kind. If they’re charismatic. If you’re happy watching them sleep. If they aren’t predictable. If they don’t breathe on your face when you try to go to sleep. If your sexual depravity encourages them to match it. If they don’t want to ever get married and go to fucking Homebase. If they don’t let you get your own way. If they make you laugh uncontrollably. If you don’t wanna fuck other people. If they’re the first person you want to tell when something significant happens. If you trust them. If you’d clean up their puke. If your friends are all jealous. If they’re the most attractive person you’ve ever met in your whole life. If you feel like everyone else is mediocre.
Even under these circumstances- sooner or later- they’re gonna bore the FUCK out of you.